Our Sweet Biscuit- Today's Her Birthday!

Our first 'baby' was a puppy and her name was Biscuit. Did you or do you have a first 'baby'? Then maybe you'll understand this post... I hope :-)

We got Biscuit when she was 6 weeks old and we had been married for about a year. At the time we brought her home, we had been trying to get pregnant for about 6 months (the most awful 6 months when you know something is wrong but doctors won't discuss anything with you because it hasn't been a year yet... yeah, that 6 months). Biscuit was with us through the most difficult time of our lives as we tried desperately to figure out what was wrong and what the Lords plan for our family was. She was with us for 1.5 years before she passed away (I'll spare you the details but if you knew Biscuit, you know how hard her death was on us) and she passed away exactly 30 days before we brought our Hannah home.

This is an entry I wrote the day after she died and even though to some people dogs are only dogs, Biscuit was so much more than that for us... and today would be her 4th birthday. We have our sweet Bentley now but we still miss Biscuit and think about her all the time.

September 3, 2008

Our sweet Biscuit passed away this weekend. Her mischevious nature got the best of her and she died peacefully under her favorite window in her home and that is where we found her. We are such a mixture of emotions. We are overcome with sadness, frustration, shock, loneliness, and anger and in the midst of it all we are desperately grasping for understanding and peace.

We take comfort in knowing that, though we only had her for a short time, she was with us through the toughest and most difficult time in our lives. She brought us joy, laughter, and happiness when it seemed there was nothing to rejoice over. She kept us busy and distracted. She was our baby when we couldn't have one... she will forever be my first baby.

Her daddy named her perfectly and she loved him unconditionally. She knew she was safe with him and she would have gone anywhere he led her. I can only hope and pray that Joey and I can have the same trust in the direction God is leading us. He didn't take her, nor did he allow this to happen; it was an accident and we know there was nothing we could have done to prevent it. Our prayer is that God will show us His plan and that we will soon know beyond a shadow of a doubt why we could not have had her longer.

We will never be the same without her. Our home will never be the same, nor will our hearts but she impacted our lives in such a positive way that we will always remember her for her goofy bark, her crooked ear, pink nose, sweet eyes, her snuggles, her wiggle-butt, and the never-ending joy she brought to us and our home in our first years of marriage.

Biscuit~

You were and always will be my first baby. I will never forget the many days I cried with a broken heart, you on my lap, knowing exactly what I needed; a quiet friend to hold and love, a baby. You reminded me of what it means to trust and what it means to laugh. You were here when we needed you. Thank you for being your Daddy's little girl, for greeting him when he came home each day, and for keeping his spot warm at night. I wish with all my heart that you could have met our precious baby, your little brother or sister. I know you would have protected and loved him or her with everything you had. Our children will know about you and will know how much we needed you while we waited patiently for them. You were our gift from God. I trully believe we will see you again... we love you, sweet girl!

Happy birthday, my sweet first baby! We love and miss you!

Sometimes God just knows what you need and when you need it. People are wonderful to have in your life but pets can fill a place that people just can't... especially when you're going through something as difficult and painful as infertility. Do you have a special pet in your life? I'd love to know about him or her!!