Give the freaking Elf a break!

Do you know someone who's faith in the human race and belief in all things good was shattered when they realized that there really is no Santa?

Probably not.

Have you ever met someone who never spoke to their parents again when they finally told them who the real Santa is?

I didn't think so.

Does your 5 year old daughter believe that Cinderella and Ariel and Jasmine live at Disney World?

I'd guess that she does,

Does your son think that Superman saves kittens and stops trains?

He does.

So why is everyone giving the Elf so much flack?!

My news feed is full of people who are 'confused' by the hype surrounding the Elf... who put other parents on the naughty list when their Elf tee-pee's the Christmas tree or repels from the doorbell.

Whether you facilitate and encourage your child's belief in Santa or not.... whether your Elf reads the Bible or ate the last cookie... or if Cinderella lives in a computer or Superman is just a man in a cape...

Did you believe in Santa when you were little? How'd you turn out?

Did you think that Belle was the most beautiful girl in the whole world? How'd you turn out?

Did Superman follow your airplane to Gramma's house? How are you doing after that?

Seriously.

I am disgusted lately that the biggest argument in a season of joy and family and BELIEVING is whether or not the belief in Santa is healthy or why an Elf would get into a little trouble (I do, however agree with those who think he's slightly creepy looking...).

So annoying.

My kids believe in Santa... it's from their belief in Santa that they learned how to say 'ho ho ho' when they were babies and it's him who first introduced them to candy canes and started their little minds to thinking about cause and effect... naughty vs. nice. Santa works at the North Pole in the Winter but he spends his summer in Heaven with Jesus and our angel baby. He and Kazaar (yes... we believe in the Elf, too) meet at McDonalds and chat about the week's happenings... over a McFlurry. For a few short weeks out of the year, we don't have to take privileges away... because Kazaar is watching... so we all get dessert, everyone gets to watch the Christmas show before bed, friends come over to play when plans are made... and that's just good enough! We get to watch our kids' faces light up when Kazaar gets into a little trouble... no one is perfect, after all!! (And... Elf's get bored when we're not home!)

I don't care if your kids believe in Santa or not.... they'll be fine either way. 

I don't care if you have an Elf or not.... they'll be fine either way.

But we have chosen to allow our kids a few short years of a little extra belief...in what? It doesn't really matter, does it?!

In the world they will grow up in... whether they believe in Santa or not.... they sadly face a lifetime of more significant disappointments; people aren't always good or nice... not everyone believes in Jesus like we do... people die... not everyone is going to go to Heaven... the Bible doesn't tell us what happens to our pets when they die...

We have chosen to allow our kids the opportunity to believe in Santa and Kazaar.... it won't last forever... their lives won't end when Santa and Kazaar turn into Mom and Dad....

and  they'll always know what Christmas is truly about, because we're the one's who are responsible for that....

And we've chosen to give them a lifetime of memories.... waiting in line to meet Santa.... sitting at the top of the stairs while mom and dad take a painfully long time to brush their teeth so they can run downstairs and see what Santa brought them... anticipating the surprise when Kazaar took flight while they were sleeping and landed himself in a new spot...

We made that choice.

You made your's.

Don't judge me and I won't judge you....

(though our Elf might... ;-))

But please, give the freaking Elf a break!

And just to tick off a few of you 'Elf Critics' even more, I thought I'd share with you what our Jesus-believing, Santa-serving, church-going, love-and-logic practicing, away-in-the-manger, tree-tee-peeing Elf gets into when the babies go to bed...

When the babies are away, the Elf will play (courtesy of said-babies' Daddy and Uncle ;-))...

:-)


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Tube Sock Snowman- Tutorial!

I have LOVED being Hannah's Room Mom this year... it just always felt like one of those things that stay at home moms do... and the fact that I get to do it makes me want to do it so well!

I am NOT the crafty type... don't get me wrong; I can make a mean tissue paper pom pom or scrapbook paper pinwheel but they followed over an hour of studying online tutorials and asking friends for help ;-)

The 'craft' part of being Room Mom has been the most challenging for me. Reindeer Nutter Butters, Snowman String Cheese, Grinch Fruit Kabobs... easy!

A craft that's cheap and easy for a 5 year old to do without strict adult supervision?

Another story completely.

 I was SO SO SO excited when I ran across Tube Sock Snowmen on Pinterest! The pin I found didn't have a link but I was able to find a wonderful tutorial ... and I could not be more excited about doing this project with Hannah's class at their Christmas party! In fact, Hannah and I have had so much fun creating our 'samples' that we've decided to make family gifts out of them, too ;-)

I've done my best to give you a step by step tutorial and I sincerely encourage everyone to do this craft with your kids this year... they make adorable gifts for grandparents or birth parents or teachers or.. anyone! And they are a decoration that anyone would love to pull out year after year!

So here goes nothing....

Tube Sock Snowmen

(in 6 easy steps!!)

I purchased everything needed for this project at WalMart and will include prices for you, too to give you an idea of your investment... and believe me, it's worth every penny!

You'll need....

*1 package of men's white tube socks (6 pairs will make 12 snowmen) ~ $5.00

* 1 box of rice or 1 bag of dry beans (optional)~ $1.97

* 1 bag of Fiber Filling ~ $3.47

* 1 package of black 'fuzzy sticks' ( 20 pipe cleaners)~ $0.88

* 1 package of red 'fuzzy sticks' (20 pipe cleaners)~ $0.88

* 1 package of 'wiggly eyes'~ $0.97

* 1 package of various sized buttons (any colors)~ $1.97

* 1 package of pom poms (various sizes, any colors)~ $1.97

* Fabric glue or hot glue gun

* Holiday or birthday ribbon in any size, color, or shape (I liked using wired ribbon)

Total (will make 12 snowmen)~ $17.11 (plus tax)

Instructions:

Step 1 (optional):

Pour a small amount of rice or beans into the bottom of the tube sock to provide a base for the snowman to stand on. It seems as though the project will work without the base but it does help provide stability!

Step 2:

Stuff tube sock with fiber filling... approximately 3/4 full.

Step 3:

Tie the open end of the full tube sock in a knot.

Step 4:

Fold the open end back over the knot to create the snowman's hat (secure with a dab of hot glue or fabric glue, if you'd like to. I didn't and they still turned out great!).

Step 5:

Tie off the top 1/3 of the tube sock with your choice of ribbon to create the snowman's head and body. (I used the Holiday ribbon I already had and found that the wired ribbon made the best bows).

Step 6:

Decorate to your heart's delight!!

* The black pipe cleaner arms stick right into the sock... no cutting, gluing, or sewing necessary!! If you're SUPER crafty (I told you that I am not), you could even find some real sticks ;-)

* A tiny piece of red pipe cleaner made a cute mouth!

* We used a tiny pom pom for the nose and a larger one for the cute puff-ball hat.

* Use as many buttons as you'd like for your snowman!

The best part of this craft?! Hannah was able to do almost every step by herself and each snowman took about 5 minutes to make.... all 12 took us about an hour! It truly became a project created by her and with her cute signature on the bottom, I can't imagine a better school craft , birth-parent present, or family gift! 

(See original tutorial here)

To the Hopeful Mama that was Me not too Long Ago on Mother's Day....

Mother's Day means so much to me.

Not because it's a Hallmark Holiday or because I get presents and special treatment.

It's special to me because I'm a mom...

And there was a day not too long ago, when I wasn't.

I've spent time this week remembering what my life looked like on Mother's Day almost 6 years ago....

I remember.... I didn't want to get out of bed that morning. Couldn't we just skip that day?!

I remember going to church.... being immersed in a sermon about the joys of motherhood and the crucial role they play in everyone's lives.

I remember... cringing when each mom received a beautiful rose at the end of the sermon.

I remember my students.... and the sweet cards they made for their moms.

That morning, 6 years ago... I did get out of bed. I went to church. I listened intently as our Pastor's wife talked about motherhood. And I walked quietly by the dozens of baskets overflowing with roses.

I remember walking into the restroom and finally letting myself cry.

A friend once told me how 'impressed' she was at my strength throughout our infertility journey and she wondered how I handled it all without a 'why me?!' attitude.

That morning? 'Why me' was my cry.

This week? This Mother's Day?

I get a Mother's Day.

I don't care about presents or flowers or even roses at church....

I'm a mom.

And that's enough for me.... (though, I better get a handmade card ;-))

But here's the thing...

I still have that same question....

Why ME?!

This year, it's a little different;

Why am I the one who gets breakfast in bed?!

Why in the world would there be a sermon that is dedicated to ME... to the role and 'job' that God has called me to do?!

What did I do to deserve that rose on my way out of church?!

and....

Who has taken my place in the church restroom...?

I will never forget that Mother's Day Sunday, 6 years ago. It is forever etched in my memory and I truly hope it does stay for good.

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To the Hopeful-Mama that was me not too long ago, on this Mother's Day....

Get out of bed. There's at least one woman in your life who you need to celebrate this Sunday. You wouldn't be who you are without her... and you won't be the Mama you're GOING TO BE without her, either.

 Go to church. Listen to that sermon and don't forget a single word... you're going to need every one of them etched in YOUR heart one day soon.

Walk by the flowers with your head held high.... that flower will be wilted and forgotten by morning. YOUR hope and YOUR future are still in God's hands, whether it's Mother's Day or just another Sunday.

And please know this....

I don't know if you'll be reading this from a distance or if you'll be the woman sitting next to me at church.... but YOU are not forgotten.

Society has convinced us that Mother's Day is a celebration of TODAY'S moms but...

Is the Mama who lost her baby exempt just because her baby isn't with her on Mother's Day?!

What about the Mama who placed her only baby for adoption.... who sacrificed her many days of Motherhood to give him/her a life bigger and better than the one she could provide... who gave another Hopeful Mama her Mother's Day?!

The Mama who's children were taken from her. The Mama who outlived her child and is now just 'Gramma'....

The Mama who isn't quite a Mama yet but who's heart has been one forever.

You fit right in. No matter what society says... you ARE a Mama. A Hopeful Mama.

Spend Sunday celebrating the women in your life who have influenced you so positively that there's nothing in the world you'd rather be than a Mama, yourself....

And then, when the celebrating is over... do something that you've gone the distance to avoid for so long;

Let yourself dream.

Mother's Day for a Hopeful Daddy is tough, too.... Joey didn't know what to do to help me on that Sunday 5 years ago.

If you have a 'Joey', bring him into your dream.... take a few minutes over dessert or a glass of wine to plan your nursery, to talk about names, to express to each other what your perfect Mother's or Father's Day would look like...

Cry.

Maybe you're single and in your mid-30's wondering every day if you'll ever meet the 'one' who can make you a Mama.. maybe you're ready to be a Mama but your husband isn't quite ready to be a Daddy.... maybe you're in the middle of that dreaded first year of trying to get pregnant... maybe you've started infertility treatments... maybe you've had a miscarriage or a still birth... maybe your marriage just ended right when your heart was ready to be a mama... maybe you just submitted your adoption application... maybe you're 'waiting'....

Let your Mother's Day be a celebration of the HOPE you have as a Hopeful Mama.

And know this...

You're not alone. You're not forgotten. And one day...

You'll get that handmade card from your baby.

Don't miss one second of this Mother's Day.....

It will one day be a memory that you will try to remember forever because that day is what will make every one of your Mother's Days as a Mama even more special than breakfast in bed, presents, special treatment, sermons about motherhood, and roses.

You'll be a Mama and you'd do it all over again if you had to ...

because that's what makes every day YOUR Mother's Day.

Love,

Me.... a once Hopeful and now Mama



A Letter to My Baby~

Hi Baby~

Today is Easter.

Easter is one of my favorite Holidays... it represents everything 'new' and everything your Daddy, your sister, and I live for;

Jesus.

Today was amazing....

Our day was probably like everyone else's... We woke up early, dressed up, wore special perfume, spent extra time on our hair, wore new shoes that really just ended up hurting our feet, curled/straightened/flat-ironed our hair and came down stairs....

but when most kids come downstairs on Easter morning they find an Easter basket overflowing with treats and presents that the Easter Bunny left for them while they were sleeping (or not sleeping because it's Easter-Eve, after all ;-))....

(our Bunny eats Fruit Loops and Peeps, apparently ;-))

Not your big sister.

When we came down stairs this morning, your big sister found a special, hand-written note from the Easter Bunny himself that read something like this;

Happy Easter, Hannah!

Easter is about Jesus and how much He loves you... and oh! He loves you so so much!
I made such a special Easter basket for you this year and I can't wait to give it to you but since Easter is about Jesus, I want you to listen carefully at church this morning and learn all you can about how much Jesus loves you....
When you get home, you will find the most special basket waiting for you and it will be full of treats just for you!

Do you know how much your Mommy and Daddy and Jesus love you?
They love you more than chocolate, and cupcakes, and Dora!

I love you that much, too!

The Easter Bunny

I know, I know; that sounds mean, doesn't it? All of the anticipation and excitement, the tradition involved in finding that special basket that was put together just for you... I know. But you see, the Easter Bunny's reason for leaving his note first is very important.... and it's something I want you to know now;

The excitement and anticipation that comes with Easter morning is new... it hasn't always existed in our World. A long time ago, Easter represented something entirely different....

It represented death, and sacrifice, and pain, and sadness....

“He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.”
1 Peter 2:24

And for your young mind, my precious little one, those things sound scary; not anything like bunnies, and treat-filled eggs, and new shoes.

Don't be scared, baby because what comes next is exciting...

While Easter will always involve candy, and treats, and bunnies, and new shoes, it will also always include Jesus; the One who gave His life for our sins... for all of the bad things we've ever done or ever will do.... who died on the cross, covered in thorns and with nails in his hands and feet.... and who rose from the dead 3 days later.

"“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."

John 3:16

Easter is about Jesus... first.

You see, baby.... Easter is a happy and fun and exciting day but not because of the treats and candy and new shoes. It's a happy and fun and exciting day because you and me...

you and me and your daddy and your big sister and your Nee and Tata and Ghee and Grandpa Darrill and Onk and Bonk and Day and Aunt Jessie and Mimi and Grandpa and Nanny and Tutu...

We are loved so so much that someone, that Jesus, gave His life for us and when He rose on the 3rd day, He went to Heaven and saved a place for us... a place that is more special than treats, and candy, and new shoes, and Easter baskets, and bunnies.

That's pretty special, isn't it?

So when your big sister woke up this morning and put on her beautiful dress, and I braided her hair, and she put on her new shoes, her excitement and anticipation weren't about a basket or treats or bunnies....

Her excitement was about Jesus.... about going to church to learn about the One who created her, the only one in the entire world who loves her even more than her Daddy and me, and who hand-picked her to be our baby.

Just like He hand-picked YOU to be our baby, too.

You see, baby... a long long time ago, Easter wasn't about everything 'new'... but it is now.

YOU, my precious baby... YOU are the only thing we were missing this Easter.

And baby?

We missed you!

Me and your Daddy, we cried for you today... because we miss you.

Me and your Daddy and your sister, we prayed for you today.... we prayed that your heart will always be open to Jesus and that you will love Him with all your heart even when you're very young.

We prayed for your First Mama and First Dad... that this Easter, they would feel peace and support and love.

Your Nee and Tata and Ghee and Grandpa Darrill and Onk and Bonk and Day and Aunt Jessie and Mini and Grandpa and Nanny and Tutu.... they miss you, too.

We are praying so hard that next Easter you will be with us.... you and your sister will wake up early, dress up in your beautiful clothes, put on your new shoes, and come down stairs.... you'll read your hand-written note from the Easter Bunny, himself and then... then we will go to church and learn about the One who loved us enough to give His life for us...

And who gave us YOU.

Then

I love you more than bunnies, and treats, and new shoes,

~ Your Mama

(Next year I just know that your sweet little cheeks will be right there next to your Big Sister's!)

'L' Is for the Way You Look at Me.......

Just some pictures from our day and a Happy Valentine's Day from us to you!!

We both got beautiful flowers from our Valentine!

(I LOVE how happy she is in this picture... pure joy!)

We opened lots of (Dora) presents...

Ms. Molly, our absolute favorite babysitter, came by with yummy treats and made our day even better...

Daddy came home early from work...

We ate at 'someone's' favorite place... Outback!

(Thanks to her First Father who gave us a wonderful gift card for Christmas!!)

And we loved each other a whole lot!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!



Love, Sex, Lingerie... and the Lord

Another question I get quite often;

How have you and your husband made it through 5 years of infertility and everything it involves? Many couples don't stay together or their marriage is so broken from stress and guilt and frustration that it seems beyond repair..... how can I make sure my husband and I don't get to that point? Is trying to get pregnant even worth that risk to our relationship?

The answer is simple;

You love each other so much that your love can get you through anything.

Right?

RIGHT?!?!

That phrase somehow implies that those who don't make it through the tough times just don't love each other enough. Those of us in the throws of infertility, or the adoption wait, or cancer, or marriage counseling, or bankruptcy, or the loss of a child take some kind of sick comfort in the fact that if we're still together, then we're at least better than those who aren't.

I'm not being mean. I've done this, too.

Valentine's Day is around the corner and like I said before, it's never been my favorite "holiday"; flowers are beautiful but they end up dying, chocolate is delicious but it makes me fat, a fancy dinner is special but breaks the budget because food can't be a 'normal' price on Valentine's Day, and lingerie is beautiful but it stays on for 2 seconds, costs $1,000,000, and doesn't really make a woman feel sexy... and really?!? Who in the entire WORLD looks good in lingerie besides VS models? C'mon guys.

I digress;

I've read lots of love stories lately so I can't help but give some thought to our own 'love story'. The details aren't very note-worthy but if I had to pin-point defining moments in our marriage, (and let's face it, defining moments are typically the one's that have the potential to ruin us) they all bring me back to our struggle through infertility and our adoption waits and I have to ask myself the same question many of you have asked me....

How HAVE Joey and I made it this far?

We held each other. We prayed together. We encouraged one another. We supported each other. Our relationship grew stronger through the tough times.

We loved each other.... and we stayed together.

Right?

 Huh. It sounds good.... but it's not right. Yes, we did all of those things but what's hidden between the lines isn't quite as nice. There's no question that Joey and I love each other more than anything in the world but here's how our 'love' really got us through the darkest parts of our marriage....

We fought. A lot. Sex became a calendar event... a chore. We blamed each other... you know the lines, "You have slow swimmers!" "Well you have a crappy uterus!" "You want a baby more than you want me." "You aren't the person I married." "If this is how we're going to be, I don't want to be married!"

We spent money on infertility treatments. Lots of it. We isolated ourselves for fear of letting others' in our darkness. Some nights, we slept in different rooms. He second-guessed our marriage.... and so did I. We swore at each other. He avoided me and I avoided him. We cried... and we hurt.
(That's the ugly side of infertility and adoption... the part where you're both hurting so much that it's almost impossible to be strong for the other person. The part before.)

When I look back I, too wonder how we made it through some of those dark times. How can anyone make it through not just infertility, but through the loss of a child or cancer?

They all hurt us and break us ... and change us.

BUT...

We stayed together because not staying together was never an option. We had faith because God had proven himself faithful before and we knew He would again. We forgave because He forgave us first. We did it all together but when we tried doing it all apart.....

we always came back together.

So yes, we love each other but our love for each other isn't what got us through some of the darkest times in our marriage...

God's love for us is what got us through.

"I am absolutely convinced that nothing- nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable- absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way He loves us." ~Romans 8:37-39

We're here and we're strong and we're together not because of how much we love each other but because of how much we love God. ...

If you have the capacity to love God with "all of your heart and all of your soul and all of your mind," and truly rely on His word, you are also capable of loving your husband (or wife) with all of the love that Christ gave you. You will make mistakes. You'll fight and scream and cry but you CAN come back together.

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I never worried about the kind of man I was going to marry.... I knew he would be a leader. I knew he would be compassionate. I knew he would be patient. I knew he would love the Lord. And I knew that when I looked into his eyes, I would know how much he loved me.

I knew all of this because I knew I wouldn't settle for a man who was less than my Daddy, my original Valentine... and my Daddy is all of those things.

Joey, my present-day Valentine, is a leader and he's compassionate and he's patient. He loves the Lord with everything that's in him.... and when I look into his eyes, I know how much he loves me.

 And he loves me that much because he loves God even more.

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2011... In Pictures!

Well, I'm pretty sure we started a new tradition in 2010 with our 'picture post' to close out the year... I just can't come up with a better way to document our most favorite memories of the year! Here it is....

 2011, in pictures...

We prepared our hearts and home to bring home Baby Smith #2....

 Someone special turned 3 years old....

We spent special time with our cousins....

We spent time with siblings....

Onk & Day graduated AND got engaged....

We dated each other....

Bonk drove across the country and came home in time for Christmas...

We went on a carriage ride...

We wore reindeer noses...

And paper hats...

And reindeer noses...

And paper hats....

Did I mention reindeer noses??

Families were together despite distances...

We dressed like Princess Peacocks and made silly faces...

Joey got a new job....

And we moved half-way across the country...

It was hard work...

We acted like princesses, even when doing breathing treatments...

And we even lost a couple adenoids and tonsils...

We rode the carousel...

We dated each other...

We ate ice cream....





We stayed close to best friends even though we don't live close anymore...

Someone learned how to use the big-girl potty...

We got some 'interesting' mail...

Hannah got to know her Great-Grandparents...

2011 will forever be remembered by us as one of the most challenging years we've ever had;  we planned for babies and lost those babies, we struggled through job loses and losing friends... but we also are thankful for a new job and new friends, our finances took hits along with everyone else in the world, we cut back but learned to appreciate the things we have and the people who love us, Joey and I both at times distanced ourselves from each other and the Lord... but we always found our way back to both and realized that things are much easier to get through with both, we found people whom we had lost.... in some cases, we were better off without them... and in others', we're thankful for their return and missed them so much, we learned that it's ok to be vulnerable and transparent... and to trust again, even though we have felt deceived so many times before, we learned that our Jesus never deceives us and that HIS plan should always be our plan.

As challenging as 2011 was, we were stretched and challenged and at times, didn't think we could make it... but we did;

and we loved each other through every second!

 ~ 2011 will be our last year as a family of 3... we just know it!! 2012 ... twenty-twelve... will ALSO be a year that we'll never forget and we'll appreciate it so much more, thanks to 2011. Thank you for taking this ride with us... hang on because it's going to get fun :-)