Our Fighter

I remember so many nights .... I would leave the NICU to head back to the Ronald McDonald House.... and I would barely make it through the NICU doors before I broke.

The NICU changes a person forever. A parent with a child in the NICU experiences emotions that you can't describe in words.... feelings you never want to feel again as long as you live.

I would walk silently to my car, praying the whole time....

"God............... Please............."

And I just knew that He knew.... He knew the words I couldn't think or speak or feel.

And every time I got in my car to head back to my home away from home, leaving my baby behind to continue fighting for his life, one song always greeted me...

Many of you have asked for an update on our sweet boy since he got his hearing aids. I've drafted a few updates but nothing comes quite close enough to the video my brother took a few weeks ago.... matched with the song that became my anthem during the most difficult time of our lives, here is our son....

our fighter.....

Give 'em hell, turn their heads
Gonna live life 'til we're dead
Give me scars, give me pain
Then they'll say to me, say to me, say to me

There goes a fighter, there goes a fighter
Here comes a fighter
That's what they'll say to me, say to me, say to me
This one's a fighter....

(My brother has been gifted with an amazing talent and has video-taped some of the strongest, most precious kids I've ever seen.... head over here to see a few more of his incredible videos!)

A Change of Plans... A Video Post!

I had a great post to share with you tonight...

and then this happened.

And this is even more incredible...

So I'll save that post for another night :-)

(If you're new to Hunter's story, head over here to catch up on the miracle that is his life... and remember to scroll all the way down in order to start from the beginning ;-))

If you know Hunter's story, then you know that his first birthday is only weeks away... and you know that we were told over and over and over again that his first birthday would never come... and you know that we were told that, IF his first birthday DID come, his quality of life would be no where near that of a typical one year old...

and so you'll know that this video is just the beginning of one more miracle in this sweet boy's life :-)

And just in case you thought it was a fluke (like I did ;-)....

God is so good. He is so so good!

(Blogger is being SO difficult tonight because it knows how amazing my post is so please excuse the crappy video quality :-/... AND... also excuse my squeaky voice; we had been at this for 10 minutes before I grabbed my camera and by that time I was barely holding it together... about 10 seconds after the second video, I lost it ;-))

Amazing.... How Great Thou Art!

If you didn't see this performance the other day, please don't miss it now. Truly unbelievable!

The Storm...

I started this blog because I crave honesty. I crave trust. I craved it during our first wait... and I crave it now, during our second.

In turn, I crave faith;
"TRUE faith is trusting Him BEFORE the blessings come."

I will be honest:
Tonight, I'm sad. That's all there is to it. BUT... every time I'm sad, God speaks to me. In some disgusting way, it makes me want to be sad more often....

I also crave to hear Him speak to me.

So today, I heard a song that spoke to me. And I like to believe that it was a song that Jesus was giving to me. Like a gift. So I'm sharing part of it with you....

God in my living
There in my breathing
God in my waking
God in my sleeping

Be my everything

God in my hoping
There in my dreaming
God in my watching
God in my waiting

God in my laughing
There in my weeping
God in my hurting
God in my healing
.....

Be my everything
Be my everything...

You are everything

~ I'm sad tonight. And that's okay. God's speaking.... and I'm waiting... and I'm weeping... but God's still speaking. My job is to listen... that's another song, entirely.

As much as I try to hide it, Hannah just knows when Mommy's sad. Every time I'm sad she says, "Daddy, hold Mommy's hand please...." and it makes everything better.

I'm abundantly blessed.

~ Heavenly Father, be my everything.... and please keep speaking. Our family isn't done... and neither are You.

** It's quiet... crank it... you'll love it!

A Social Network Christmas

I've never given Mary much thought.

I've never studied her.

I've never been in her shoes.

That's changed this year.

I have lots of thoughts about her.

I have a lot to share.

For now, please don't miss watching this video...