I Blame It ALL On Adam & Eve....

Our baby-girl has Pneumonia. In the middle of Summer. For the second time... that we know of (I'm FULLY convinced that she's had it many times and it went undiagnosed and ended up disguised by antibiotics...).

She had a cough on Tuesday. That's it; A dry cough. No runny nose, no wheezing, no fever. Just a cough.

She took a nap on Wednesday and woke up covered in throw up (sorry :-( ), and with a RAGING 105.1 temp.

One. Oh. Five. Point. One.

Do you know what that looks like on a thermometer? It's AWFUL! Absolutely awful :-(

We put her in a cool bath and watched her for a while. When it was clear that her temp wasn't budging, we went to Urgent Care. Thankfully, the one closest to us is open until 8pm... we got there at 7:45. They took her back immediately, hooked her up to oxygen monitors, pricked her finger to get a while blood count, and off we went for a chest x-ray.... she's a trooper! SUCH a big girl! We didn't leave Urgent Care until 10:15pm... did I mention that they closed at 8pm? That's right... every single staff member stayed THAT late just for us. They were amazing! They even brought stickers to help us pass the time....

(Daddy loved the stickers ;-))

Hannah had coin-size spots of Pneumonia in both of her lungs... and it wasn't even noticeable when the Doctor listened to her chest. You have no idea how much that scares me! We are SO thankful for a smart doctor who wasn't willing to risk anything with Hannah's health and went ahead with an x-ray even though she didn't hear anything.... so so thankful!

Baby-girl got a (PAINFUL!) shot of Rocephin and went home with antibiotics, new nebulizer solution (yep, we're already proud owners of a nebulizer), a princess bandaid on her finger, and a red crayon bandaid on her leg. By 11pm she had an ice-pack on her leg, the nebulizer going, and Dora on TV... of course :-)

On our way up for bed, Hannah limped ahead of me and when she got to the bottom of the stairs (Daddy had already gone up), she yelled, "JOEY! JOEY!" When he came to the bottom of the stairs she said, "Hi Daddy! My weg hurts.... carry me, pwease?"

And he did :-)

Hannah has slept with us the past few nights so we can monitor her breathing and her increasingly nasty cough. The night we came home, we all piled into our bed and Bentley (our dog) had a lot of trouble settling down. He would pace around the bed, whine at Joey, and then come over and whine at me. Joey took him downstairs and let him out but when they came back upstairs he continued to whine and pace. All of a sudden he jumped up on our bed (it's about 4 feet off the ground and he's not allowed on it) and before we knew it, he was covering Hannah's face with kisses! He was SO worried about her and this is where he slept all night....

right on Hannah's legs :-)

We took Hannah in for a re-check today and she's having trouble kicking this Pneumonia. Her lungs are still crackling so we're in for a low-key, relaxing weekend and another re-check with new x-rays on Monday. Even though she feels (and sounds) yucky, a surprise Edible Arrangement from her grand-parents, a new princess crown, and lots of TLC from Mommy and Daddy (and Bentley!) have earned us a few of those smiles we love so much!

I hate when my baby is sick! As much as I hate it, I am reminded so often of how blessed we are for her overall health and of how many precious babies aren't so healthy... I'm praying for all of them (and their mommy's and daddy's) tonight!

Even so... I blame it all on Adam & Eve. Thanks a lot, guys ... I hope it was a yummy apple.

;-)

Out of the Mouths of Babes...

The past few weeks have been full of humorous-Hannah... she cracks us up on a daily basis! I never, ever want to forget the funny things she says so I thought I'd start documenting those moments... especially since it looks like the baby book is never going to be finished ;-)

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes....
~~~~~~

Me: "Hannah, what would you like for lunch today?"

Hannah: "A burger and a diet coke."

~~~~~~~

I put Hannah to bed one night. I kissed her good-night and she said, "Ni-night Mommy. Go downstairs with Daddy now."

~~~~~~~

Me: "Hannah, we have to put our shoes on so we can go to the store."

Hannah: "We NEED ice cream!!!"

~~~~~~~

Hannah: "What are you doing, Mama?"
Me: "I'm shucking corn for dinner."
Hannah: "Oh Mama! I LOVE corn!"

In the next breath:

Hannah: "I need a funfetti cupcake, Mama!"

~~~~~~~~

Hannah: "Daddy, you're a super-chunk!"

~~~~~~~~

Hannah: "Dee-o (Bentley, our dog), you're so CRAZY!"

~~~~~~~~

Me: "Hannah, our pacifiers are all gone! You're a big girl now so we won't have a pacifier for nap-time today."
Hannah: "Let's just go to the store for a new one, Mommy!"

~~~~~~~

Me: "Hannah, when you make a mess you need to clean it up."
Hannah: "Oh, I'm sorry Mommy. You clean up please, I'll go watch Dora."
~~~~~~~

Every morning when I get Hannah from her room she says,
"Good morning, beautiful Mommy!"

~~~~~~~

She's the love of our lives... and she's growing up way.too.fast!

What TO Say; Part III

I LOVE the list we came up with on What Not To Say; Part III.... and I even have a Part IV in the works! In situations when someone asks one of these questions or makes one of these comments, my first reaction is typically always to smart-off. I think we can all agree that smarting-off isn't the best way to go. Most people making these statements or asking these questions are naive or uneducated in the world of adoption and need only to be lovingly taught how to ask the same thing or say the same thing in a non-offensive, non-hurtful way. That's where we come in!

I thought I would quickly run through our awesome list and mention some appropriate responses; I've learned the hard way that it's always good to have these responses thought-out before you're faced with the comments or questions so 'smarting-off' isn't a temptation when you're caught off-guard.

1. "How much did you pay for her?"

A better way to ask: "What fees were involved in adopting through your agency/attorney?"

A potential response: "We paid an agency/attorney/etc. some fees that covered advertising for potential birthparents, legal fees, his/her birth-moms medical fees and some living expenses so she could have a safe, stress-free, and healthy pregnancy, and those fees also made sure that she and us could receive counseling if we felt at any point that it was needed. None of that money was given directly to his/her birth-parents but it gave us the peace of mind that everyone was supported and cared for throughout the process of bringing our baby home."

2. "Don't you ever want your own children?"

A better way to ask: "Do you ever long for a biological child?"

A potential response: "I do wonder all the time what it would be like to experience a pregnancy, how I would tell my husband that we were pregnant, what it would feel like to have my baby kick and move inside me, and experience labor.  My reasons for ever desiring to experience a pregnancy have to do with the experience itself... and the fact that it is a 'simpler' process than adoption. It has a time-line, you have a diet to follow, and there's a specific plan set in place. THESE are the things that I think about.... but there has never been a difference in our minds as to whether or not a biological child would be more 'ours' than a child God chose for us through adoption."  

3. "She is so lucky to have you."

A better statement: "You are all so blessed to have each other!"

A potential response: "WE are extremely blessed to have HER!"

4. "You already have one beautiful child, isn't it a little selfish to want more kids when it's so hard to get them?"

I don't even have ideas for a better question to ask; just don't say that... to anyone!

If someone does say this to you~ A potential response; "We rely strongly on the thoughts and feelings God gives to us in the process of growing our family and we know that our family isn't done growing. The fact that we have a desire for more children takes nothing away from our thankfulness that we have Hannah... we just know that God isn't done with us yet and until He shuts every door and tells us differently, we'll continue searching for our next sweet baby/ies!"

5. "How often do you talk to her mom and dad?"

A better question: "How often do you talk to her birth-parents?"

A potential response: Be honest in describing whether your adoption relationship is closed, semi-open, or open (head over here to learn about the differences) but also mention that YOU are your child's 'mom and dad' and that the correct term for their biological parents is 'birth-parents' or simply 'biological parents'.

6. Do you think you can love him/her as much as a real parents loves their child?
~ Thanks, Misty!
Stay tuned.... this is the topic of our next post!

8. "Where is he/she from?"
~ Thanks, Amelia!

A better question: "Was this a domestic or an international adoption?"

9. "He/she's so cute.... why didn't his/her mom want her baby?"
~ Thanks, Amelia!

A better question; "What did his/her biological parents choose to place her for adoption?"

A potential response: Your response will depend on the openness of your adoption and how comfortable you are in sharing these details. It's ok to simply say "we really prefer to keep his/her story private until he/she is older." If someone wonders why his/her birthmom didn't "want" her, this is an incredible opportunity to explain what we know of a birth-moms heart; that they wanted this baby more than anything! Birth-parents possess a type of selfless love that I'm not sure many of us could ever understand; she loved her child so much that she was able to acknowledge that she just wasn't enough for him/her. Maybe she couldn't support him/her the way he/she deserved, maybe she needed time to focus on bettering herself before she could give herself fully to her child, the list goes on! The point is this; giving your child to someone else to raise and love is an act of love that some of us will never ever understand in it's entirety. And that's ok... our plans are all different. What is so incredibly special about a child who is placed for adoption is that those children are doubly loved; first by his/her 'first mom and dad' and second by their mom and dad.

10. "Does he/she look more like his/her birthmom or birthfather?"

~ Thanks, Brooke

Again, this is one of those questions that you should just not ask. Some kids looks like aunts or uncles, some have different color skin, and some just have their own 'look'. Who someone looks like just doesn't matter and can present an incredibly awkward situation for any parent.

11. "I think it's completely selfish that you didn't nurse your daughter when she was an infant."
~ Thanks, Erin!

I hope we've established that calling anyone 'selfish' is just not necessary. It IS possible for a woman to nurse a child that is not hers biologically. It involves lots of medicine, uncomfortable contraptions, and lots of time BEFORE the baby is born. 'Time' is one of those things that some adoptive parents just don't have. If you have the time, go for it! Nursing can be an awesome bonding opportunity for you and your baby... but bottle feeding your newborn can be a bonding opportunity for you, your husband, and your children. Bonding is crucial for everyone in the household when a child comes into it through adoption so do what's right for you, in your situation... you're not selfish. I promise!

PLEASE leave comments with your input, too... we all handle situations differently and my way is NOT always the best way. I'd love for you to share your own thoughts and feelings!

Reminder: What Not To Say Part III

We're still adding GREAT things to our list of What Not To Say; Part III on Adoption! I'll keep the list open for another week and then we'll discuss appropriate responses... I LOVE what we have so far so keep them coming!

I have loved our What Not To Say posts.... do you have any suggestions for future posts? Please share!

For A Sweet Boy....

Please pray for this family. I don't know them but I don't have to; their precious 2 year old baby boy is sick.... very very sick. The photos are really hard to look at but they have stuck with me. While I am beyond thankful for my girl and her health, my heart is breaking for this mommy who has to see her baby like this in what will most likely be his last days of life. Her strength and positivity stun me... she's a strong woman.

I'm also thankful for the millions of mommy's and babies and angels that will be in Heaven waiting to wrap their arms around her baby's perfect little body when Jesus brings him home.

Have you ever thought about all the sweet babies we'll get to love on in Heaven? I love thinking about 'the place' God is preparing for me!

Thanks for being such faithful prayer warriors, friends!

She Has My Heart,,,

Every morning lately, I go into Hannah's room to get her out of bed and she says,

"Good morning, beautiful Mommy-girl."

And my hearts melts and I thank the Lord for this precious baby-girl who has my heart.

16 and Pregnant | Adoption Special

Did you catch last week's episode of Teen Mom on MTV? They did an adoption special and I just thought it was fabulous... educational and real. If you watched it, I'd love to know what you thought! If you missed it, click below to watch it and leave your feedback!

Watch here; 16 and Pregnant Adoption Special

~ I LOVE how open adoption is portrayed through Catelyn and Tyler's relationship with Carly's parents, too!

I'm still adding to our "What Not To Say: Part III" list so keep those comments coming!

What Not To Say: Part III

For those of you who missed What Not To Say; Part I & Part II, catch up first (and comment and add to them, if you want!), and then come back here for Part III :-)

Parts I & II were geared more toward infertility but I'm dedicating Part III to the topic of adoption. I guess a good subtitle would be...

How To Piss Off An Adoptive Parent



:-)

I know, I know... it sounds harsh. The truth is, someone cannot be blamed for ignorance. I do believe that, as hopeful, soon-to-be, or current parents (or grand-parents or friends or family, etc.) through adoption, we have an obligation to educate people to the best of our ability before we can blame them or get angry at them for saying inappropriate things... and that applies to any situation. Most of the time people have very pure intentions, they just don't know the appropriate words to use or how to ask... that's where we come in!

Adoption is a topic and process that many just don't understand and if you're one of those people.... guess what?! I (and lots of my readers) LOVE educating and teaching and talking about adoption! Lucky you ;-)

 (I even did an intro to types of adoption here.... go check it out!).

We have been on the receiving end of most of these comments. Yes, they were said (in most cases) by people who just didn't have much adoption-knowledge or experience to pull from and yes, we took every opportunity to educate and nicely correct the improper terms or inappropriate questions.... but they still stung :-/

Here we go!

What Not To Say To An Adoptive Parent

1. "How much did you pay for her?"

2. "Don't you ever want your own children?"

3. "She is so lucky to have you."

4. "You already have one beautiful child, isn't it a little selfish to want more kids when it's so hard to get them?"

5. "How often do you talk to her mom and dad?"

6. Do you think you can love him/her as much as a real parents loves their child?
~ Thanks, Misty!

8. "Where is he/she from?"
~ Thanks, Amelia!

9. "He/she's so cute.... why didn't his/her mom want her baby?"
~ Thanks, Amelia!

10. "He/She doesn't look anything like you!"
~ Thanks, Brooke

11. "I think it's completely selfish that you didn't nurse your daughter when she was an infant."
~ Thanks, Erin!

10.... Your turn! I know there are lots more so leave a comment and I'll add to the list!

Are you a hopeful, soon-to-be, or current parent through adoption? What have people said to you in the process that has stung just a bit, whether it was intentional or not (if it's not listed, I'll add it!)? How did you respond to them? Have you been on the receiving end of any of the comments listed? How did or would you respond?

I LOVE posts like this so like always, take this opportunity to share and help others' understand what's appropriate and what hurts. I'll post a follow-up soon with some appropriate responses as our list grows!

We've Missed You!

Hi :-)

I took a blogging break for various reasons (not a baby yet :-( ) and have missed it (and you) so much! I'll spend some time playing catch-up over the next week because we do have lots of 'new' in our lives but I thought I would come back with an amazing and easy recipe that my mom got from a friend. This broccoli salad has become a weekly staple in our house this summer... and what a stinkin' HOT summer it has been! WOW!

Broccoli Salad

Salad;

* 3 bunches (bushels? clumps? hmmm...) of broccoli

* 1 bunch (....?) of green or red onions, chopped 

* 4 slices of bacon, chopped

* Optional; sunflower seeds, grapes, apples... anything, really!

Dressing;

* 1/2 cup light mayo

* 2 Tbsp vinegar

* 2 Tbsp sugar

~ MIX!

Easy, huh? And soooo yummy!

AND I can't end without a silly picture of my girl.... she has grown leaps and bounds in the past couple of months!

Buy a Frosty, Support Adoption!!

In honor of Father’s Day, Wendy’s will donate $.50 out of every Frosty purchased this weekend to the Dave Thomas Foundation For Adoption. You can also purchase an Adoption pin-up for $1 and kids can go online to create Father’s Day e-Cards from a variety of scenes and objects–like sandcastles on the beach or baseball in the backyard–and send it off to their dads. Wendy’s donates an additional $.25 to the Foundation for every Frosty Card sent. In 2010, the Father’s Day Frosty campaign raised $1.8 million!